Tisha b’Av and the Comfortable Exile

“The galut (exile) is too long.” That’s what a very sweet woman shared with me at the supermarket- and we both broke into tears. She had found me in one of the aisles looking confused. She asked me if I needed help finding something. I explained that I was trying to figure out what to make for the Tisha b’Av pre-fast meal (the fast that commemorates the tragic events of Jewish history) which brought us to her statement that the galut is too long. It is too long. Just a day ago Hamas shared with the world videos of our brothers held hostage what REAL starvation looks like. The galut IS too long. It’s too long because we have become comfortable. 

In my neighborhood we have a regular supermarket- but it caters to the large number of Jews that shop there. The bakery is fully kosher, the meat and dairy departments are fully kosher, it may be that half the store is dedicated to kosher products. Oh, and don’t forget the kippot hanging on the wall above the exclusively Jewish magazine and newspaper area (just in case your son can’t remember where he put the last half dozen kippot you bought him.) We are comfortable. I can’t complain about being comfortable- it’s nice knowing that we don’t have to worry about when the next pogrom will happen on our block. We are still comfortable but not as comfortable as we were before October 6, 2023. 

It was a different world- a world where we Jews thought we could put that nasty disease of “antisemitism” behind us, we were “accepted” in general society. Then October 7th happened, and our world fell apart. “Protests” calling for the death of the Jews began even on October 8th, the day after the massacre, weeks before an Israeli military response. These calls for intifada and violence against Jews around the world have grown over the last almost two years- and we find ourselves in a different world- a world where Jews everywhere have to decide whether it’s safe to wear their Star of David on the inside or outside of their shirt, to decide that public school is no longer safe for their children, and to ultimately decide that the country they’re living in is no longer their home. It’s a hard time we are living through.

When did this all begin? It began on Tisha b’Av thousands of years ago when the spies sent by our teacher Moses came back with a bad report about the Holy Land of Israel- ignoring the fact that Gd had just taken the Jewish People out of Egypt with great signs and wonders with an outstretched arm that destroyed the Egyptians and brought us into Freedom… and somehow these spies managed to show their lack of faith in the Almighty by announcing that the Jewish People could not and would not be able to conquer the Land that Gd had promised us. The Jewish People cried when they heard the terrible report, and Gd responded in kind: you are crying for nothing now, but on this day you will cry throughout history. So begins the history of Tisha b’Av, the day we spoke badly of the Land of Israel. 

Every year we fast, every year we read the Megillah of Eicha/Lamentations and every year we say Next Year in Jerusalem. But honestly it’s hard to mean it. We really are comfortable and we really do have obligations- our careers, our children’s schooling and caring for elderly parents- it’s not simple. 

So for those of us living in the Galut/Exile I’m proposing two ideas this Tisha b’Av:

• The first idea is to work on strengthening the Jewish community wherever you live. In other words- show love for one another. There are so many different types of opportunities- Torah learning, volunteer opportunities to help Jewish food banks, visiting with older and lonely people, and even Jewish homelessness. Even just being a friendly and non-judgmental friend is important.
• The second idea is to re-prioritize the Land/State of Israel, as a “tikkun”, a spiritual “repair” of our error thousands of years ago. Consider a “savings” box dedicated to buying a home in Israel. Drop a quarter in once a day, and have your children do the same (or give them the change to donate)- even if you have no real concrete plan to move, it’s important to realign your reality with the understanding that we are in Galut, we really are in Exile, no matter how comfortable that Exile is.

Israel is where the Jewish People are ultimately meant to be. It’s time to not just pray for Gd to redeem us, but also to show Gd that we recognize the cognitive dissonance that we are living in- asking to be redeemed while being comfortable in our Exile. We need to realign ourselves by putting away just a few dollars a week to buy that future home in the Land that Gd promised us - proving the spies wrong, that we deeply regret their statements. We truly want to inherit our Holy Land. Perhaps Gd willing, by showing Gd that we’ve prioritized His will, He will give us what we are desperately seeking- the end of this long Galut. May we see it soon. Wishing everyone an easy fast and a meaningful day.