A Moment of Introspection

Today I went to the funeral of a friend's mother.  Funerals are always heart-wrenching, no matter if you know the person who died or not.  I went to support my friend, but even so there's no way around the thoughts that wander around your head while sitting in the pews.

This isn't (unfortunately) my first funeral, and it brought to mind several things.  All of it centered around what we have left at the end of our lives.  No matter if our lives are long or short, we will always be gone "too soon".  Our deeds are all that we have at the end of the day.

Judaism is not an all or nothing religion. It is a realistic religion.  G-d knows who we are as individuals and sees the situations we find ourselves in.  It's the process and progress we make that is the difference.  Working on one mitzvah and being unsuccessful is better than not trying at all.

We will all be gone "too soon".  Not meaning to be depressing here, it's important to take an accounting of our day to day lives.  Sure, we went to work - spent a lot of energy - and came home again.  Did we do something for someone else at any point?  Did we work on improving ourselves at all during that long busy day?

We stumble to the end of the day exhausted.  Looking for a few moments to improve ourselves seems impossible.  But this is not a new problem.  

Hillel said: ...do not say, "When I am free, I will study," for perhaps you will never be free. (Pirkei Avot/Ethics of the Fathers 2:4)

We have to make time for ourselves and others, otherwise there will be no time.  Funerals are a good time, and usually our only time, for introspection, since we lead such hectic, busy lives.  Take a moment to think about your life.  Don't wait for a something as serious as a funeral.  You are a creation.  G-d's creation.  You are also your own creation.  G-d gave you the ability to create yourself.  Who is the person you want to create?  What kind of a person do you want to be at the end of your all "too short" life?  This is your opportunity.

Rabbi Yaakov said: This world is like the antechamber before the World to Come; prepare yourself in the antechamber so that you may enter the banquet hall.  (Pirkei Avot/Ethics of the Fathers 4:16)

What is your mitzvah?  Choose something small that you can handle and stick to it.  There is nothing "minor" about any mitzvah.  Any mitzvah will do.

Rabbi Tarfon said... It is not your obligation to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it... (Pirkei Avot/Ethics of the Fathers 2:16)

The hardest part is to start.  Start now, don't wait for the opportunity to pass you by.

Welcome!

Welcome to Take a Jewish Minute.  This is my corner where I explain my philosophy on life. None of these thoughts are original.  They are a conglomeration of ideas that I've heard and learned about through the years.  

Who am I?  I am a Jewish woman looking at the world through traditional Jewish glasses.  I do not believe in labels - they only limit us.  I've heard too many conversation start with the same refrain, "I'm not religious...", "I'm Reform, I do/don't..."  or "I'm Orthodox, I do/don't..."  The Torah was not given exclusively to one group at Mount Sinai, rather the Torah is the guidebook for all Jews.  

Judaism is about learning and doing.  Striving and moving forward.  Seeing Jacob's ladder - grabbing a hold of it and climbing.  Pushing to do and understand.

Who am I?  I am not a rabbi, nor am I someone with all the answers.  Like my grandfather once said - Who is the wise person?  It's not the person with all the answers.  It's the person who knows where to go find the answers.

Life is about learning and growing.  Judaism is the frame for that process.  I wish all of you well finding your way in that process.  Feel free to comment and suggest ideas.  I look forward to your thoughts.

Shira

Tisha B’Av Thoughts 2008

Once again I find myself sitting on the floor listening to the words of Eicha. Eicha Yashva Badad; how Jerusalem sits by herself with no one to save her as the destruction is described. As the pages turn, the depths of the disaster unfold.

The words of Eicha are immortal and transcend time. When hearing the Jews weeping on the night of Tisha B’Av, Napoleon Bonaparte commented that "any people that still feel strongly about events that occurred to them thousands of years ago, will surely survive as a people, and persevere."

But what to make of this? The fact that we’re still in mourning is a statement. What are we mourning? There is a statement that says: in every generation that the Holy Temple is not rebuilt is the same as if that generation had destroyed it.

Tisha B’Av is the Jewish day of national mourning. While in modern times we have established other days of mourning – Yom HaShoa/Holocaust Remembrance Day and Yom HaZikaron/Israel’s Memorial Day – Tisha B’Av encompasses all historical events which would need remembering in this way.

Tisha B’Av finds its origins originally in the destructions of the first and second Holy Temples, both occurring on the same day five hundred years apart. Since then many different disasters have been dealt to the Jewish People during the three weeks leading to Tisha B’Av as well as on Tisha B’Av itself.

I want to focus on the first Tisha B’Av for a moment, even before the destruction of the Temples. This occurred when the spies had returned from the Land of Israel telling the children of Israel that it was impossible to conquer the Land. The Israelites cried; and G-d told them that since they had cried for no reason that this night would be a night where there would be real occasion to cry out over the course of Jewish history.

One of the mistakes that the Israelites made at that time was they had become comfortable. They had G-d directing and protecting them in the desert, a great leader Moshe, and food delivered to them without having to run to the supermarket. They didn’t want to change the situation. Why should they?

We should recognize that mistake. I believe our generation has a similar challenge. The challenge that we are not in need of anything. We have homes and plenty of food. We have shoes that are not being worn through and beds to sleep on. We have more than just the basics. We have computers and internet and television screens. We honestly have everything we need.

We believe we have no need to pray. Prayer is for those who are in need. Prayer is our connection to G-d; but what do we need a connection to G-d if we have all we need?

In order to answer the question we will turn the question around and into a statement. It is specifically because we have all we need that we need a connection to G-d. The assumption that the question holds is that we have what we have without G-d’s help, but this is a faulty assumption. In truth we have what we have because of G-d, not because of our own hands.

It reminds me of this joke:

George is driving to work. He's late for a meeting, looking for a parking place and can't find one.

In desperation, he turns towards heaven and says, "G-d, if you find me a parking place, I promise that I'll eat only kosher, respect Shabbat, and all the holidays."

At that moment, a place opens up just in front of him.

He turns his face up to heaven and says, "Never mind, I just found a spot."

Prayer is one of our particular challenges. A second, more general challenge for our generation is Judaism itself. We like to fit Judaism into our lives - perhaps a minute here a few minutes there. A convenient Judaism.

What is Judaism? Judaism is a system of rules and ideas created by G-d for Jews to follow. It is a system of living. Let’s define “living”. “Living” is mostly recognized in advertising. You’re not really living until you have x, y, z. You’re not really living until you’ve done x, y, z. No surprises there.

What is “living”? If we know that G-d gave us the Torah with its system of living – we might want to take a look. Taking a look is our challenge. Whether Orthodox, Traditional, Conservative, Reform, Humanistic, etc etc. taking a look at our lives and challenging ourselves to take an honest accounting of it is of tremendous value.

What are we gaining by not participating in Judaism’s system of “living”? What are we losing? In the long run what do we imagine we have gained by adding to the toys we know we can’t take with us?

Every person is compared to a mini-Mikdash. The Holy Temple itself. The Temple was the place where G-dliness was revealed. We should ask ourselves: Are we a place where G-dliness is revealed?

At the end of Eicha we ask G-d to return us – to bring Moshiach, to make the world a place where we see G-d. We have to do our part as well. We have to want to be returned, we have to want to be a mini-Mikdash, we have to want to “live” in the truest sense of the word.

All of this is not so easy. This is why we ask G-d for help in being returned. We cannot do it all on our own. Tisha B’Av is a wake up call for us to realize how far away we are – to break the comfortable monotony of our lives. We have to pray, we have to act and we have to live.

True Martyrs

What is a "martyr"? Plainly stated, it's a person who dies for G-d. Judaism does not ask for martyrs. We're generally told (except for three specific instances) to live for G-d and keep the commandments and not to die for G-d. But sometimes we're not given a choice, and the choice is made for us.

The Holocaust was an awesome event. Six million Jews were murdered. One and a half million of them were children - the next generation gone. We were singled out and destroyed.

These martyrs - who were they? They were ordinary people, who in normal times were mothers and fathers, businesspeople, lawyers, students and children. Not unlike us today.

These martyrs did extraordinary things even living within the hellholes called the Camps. Mothers performed brit milah/circumcisions on their sons knowing that at least their baby would die as a Jew. Shabbat candles lit. Shofars blown. Assimilated Jews saying the Shema on their way into the showers - professing in the one and only G-d. Those being carried to the cremetorium singing their own Kaddish, praising G-d.

These are martyrs. These are people to aspire to be.

We are the living. But what are we living for? For ourselves? For immediate gratification? The physical or the spiritual?

Do we take advantage of everything at our fingertips? Kosher food? Shabbat? The Jewish holidays? Do we appreciate any of it? We have it all. Our martyrs only dreamed of it.

As we approach Shavuot, the Giving of the Torah at Mount Sinai, we need to look back at Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day, and see not only destruction - but also life. These people lived for something bigger than themselves. They saw the big picture.

The Nazis were bent on destroying the Jewish People. But they can move to the back of the line. There were others as well interested in the same goal. As we say in the Passover Haggada, "in every generation" there are those who came to destroy us. However, G-d in His mercy didn't let that happen. We are an Eternal People when we hang onto Eternity.

To paraphrase Mark Twain. The Jews have seen the Persians, the Greeks, the Romans, the Crusaders, and the Nazis all rise to great heights. We have also seen them all crumble into the dustbins of history. Who are we? We are the Jews. We have Eternity. We have the Torah.

Never Again - The Empty Mantra

Here we are, commemorating Holocaust Memorial Day a week before celebrating Israel's 60th birthday. This is the day where we bring out the Holocaust survivors to listen to their stories of survival and victimhood. This is the day we sit around wondering what went wrong in Europe and mumbling to ourselves "Never Again".

"Never Again"? What shouldn't happen AGAIN?

That there shouldn't be anti-semitism in Europe?

That the world should love the Jews and find somewhere for us to go to live in safety?

It would be funny if there weren't lives at stake. Anti-semitism isn't dead. In fact it's alive and kicking in Europe. Jews are still scared to be outwardly identifiable as Jews. Talking to an English friend she was surprised to find that it isn't normal to be yelled at on the way to synagogue.

The European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights has published a report on anti-semitism in Europe. Here's a shocker: Anti-semitism isn't dead in Europe. Jews are being attacked. Do we hear a peep from anyone Jewish or not? No. Should we be surprised? No.

Israel is the country that the world gave us as payment for our destruction. The same world that couldn't manage to find a place for the Jews awaiting the fires of Aushwitz. The same United Nations whose Human Rights Council last month voted 40 out of 47 to elect

Jean Ziegler, the co-founder of the "Muammar Khaddafi Human Rights Prize", as an expert advisor representing the Western world. And for its new Palestine expert, the council chose Richard Falk, who, like Ziegler, accuses the U.S. of being responsible for many of the world's ills and describes Israel in Nazi terminology.

Yes, today it is a safer world for Jews. But wait. There are plenty of people who say that if Israel would have existed during World War II, that the Holocaust would never have happened. Such optimists. I too am an optimist, but I temper that by being a realist.

A couple summers ago Israel engaged in a war with Hezbollah in Lebanon after the kidnappings of her soldiers. Israel ended the war with absolutely nothing to show for her efforts. Our soldiers are still being held. Hezbollah is currently re-arming itself with the "see no evil" attitude of the UN blue helmeted soldiers nearby.

Israel gave away the Gaza strip with the assumption that somebody cared. Instead, rockets are landing in Ashkelon. (Never mind Sderot, they're old news but still receiving rockets.) And since Iran is such a good friend to the Arabs living there - it is a matter of time before those rockets land in Tel Aviv.

Israel is weak. Jews are weak. Why? Jews are afraid to show strength. We'd rather be victims than "aggressors". We're uncomfortable with power. We apologize every time we defend ourselves against people who hate us.

"Never Again" is an empty mantra mumbled by people who feel the need to do something but are impotent. We need to stop apologizing for offenses real and imagined. We need to stand up and say "I am Jewish!" and not apologize quickly afterward for being proud.

The Holocaust was not singular event in Jewish history. Our history is replete with horror. We are targets because we are Jewish. We focus on the Holocaust because it is the most recent destruction in our history of 4000 years.

The question is not "Why did this happen to me?" That is a voice of a victim. We must no longer be Jews with a ghetto mentality. How can I make the gestapo love me? What can I do to make the world love me? How can I assimilate myself into the culture around me enough so that I don't look too Jewish?

We Jews are the makers of history. We have seen it all, done it all. The question that must be asked is "Why am I afraid to say that I am Jewish?" The follow up question for all Jews then becomes "What does it mean to be Jewish?"

We are G-d's People. G-d gave us the Torah as a guidebook and the Land of Israel as a place to live as Jews. No apologies are ever needed.

Take a look at "Never Again."

Tisha B'Av - The Ninth of Av

Yes, I'm back in the States. I walked off the plane last night about a half of an hour before Tisha B'Av was starting. I passed through customs washed my hands and sat along the side of a wall in baggage claim eating a pita and egg with ashes realizing that I was no longer in Israel.

I guess that it is fitting to do Tisha B'Av outside of Israel. Not that Israel is any better off than we are here being that people are partying on Ben Yehuda just down the street from the ruins of the Temple. (Although on a positive note, I had a short conversation about that we souldn't need to fast on Tisha B'Av with a lady who worked in a pharmacy in Geula - where else?) But here in America I can say that I'm not even able to be at the ruins at all.

Why are we still mourning the Temple? Who cares? I didn't really understand these questions until about a week ago when it was clearly defined by Rav Berkowitz. All trouble stems from not having the Temple. This includes all difficulties. People who were at a crossroads in their lives, who needed direction would simply go to a prophet who would tell them what their purpose in life should be. Easy as that. This is the concept of clarity. Closeness to G-d meant clarity. We need to understand how horrible it really is to be unclear - not to know what we are meant to accomplish in this life of ours. We go through each day - going to our jobs, hopefully doing good things but without a clue what the end goal of our life really is.

People are in pain. People need health and money. All of this would be solved with Moshiach.

Mourning is realizing what we are missing. It is hard to mourn when we don't know what we are missing. We may not be able to miss the Temple, but I am sure that we can see the pain of others. I am sure we can see the pain in our own lives. We need to take the opportunity of Tisha B'Av to realize that this pain, in whatever form it takes, can be fixed by the imminent arrival of Moshiach and the Redemption. It is when we identify this pain as the result of the destruction that we can truly mourn for what is lost.

May Moshiach arrive quickly and this day of mourning can be turned into a day of rejoycing with HaShem.

Guarding Our Speech

I'm really on my way to bed, but wanted to share a few ideas before I get there.

I attended the Shmirat HaLashon (Guard Your Speech) gathering that takes place every summer usually during the last nine days of the three week period between the 17th Tamuz (when the walls were breached) and the 9th of Av (when the Temple was destroyed). Since the idea is that the Temple was destroyed due to senseless hatred, we take this time to watch what comes out of our mouths.

This year this gathering seems to have rattled me a bit... in a good way.

Everyone needs to understand, this is a gathering of women. A huge gathering. Last night was the Hebrew speaking gathering and tonight was the English speaking gathering. Imagine - thousands of women (really!) getting together to hear words of Torah - how to use our speech properly. Like was said tonight, it's not only about what not to say.. it's also about what should be said. We can build as well as destroy. It was truly awesome. I hope to type my notes and post them soon.

Binyanei HaUma is the hall where this takes place. It's a rather large hall which can accommodate hundreds, if not a thousand people. When you come in and walk up the stairs there is an open area where tapes and CDs of classes and speeches are being sold for the specific reason of learning how to use our speech properly. Or just how to treat each other properly - the commandment of treating each other like we ourselves would like to be treated.

I started the evening the way I always do. I hung out in this area so I could look at all the people walking through. I love doing this because I always see people I know and get a chance for two minutes to hang out and talk to them. Of course by doing this I missed Rabbi Orlofsky's opening remarks (he was the MC for the evening, brilliant as usual).

I got to my seat and listened. I had some trouble getting into it at first, but finally focused and took notes. Rabbi Orlofsky made an interesting point I believe toward the end of the evening. He said that usually they have this gathering during the nine days, but since Binyanei HaUma was being renovated, they were holding the gathering earlier in the three weeks. Really, he made the point, was not that we were having it early - but it was perfect timing. It was perfect timing due to the fact that we were having a war in north and south of the country. And of course, any Torah is bound to have a positive effect, please G-d.

Also, toward the end of the evening, there was the announcement that anyone who had extra space in their home, or even an extra apartment to please contact Mrs. X since Mrs. X was spearheading trying to place people who were leaving their homes in the north and needed a place to live. Amazing. He gave out her name, telephone number, and address. Mi K'amcha Yisroel, who is like you Israel?!

I was sitting in the nosebleed section, way up top, and after the speeches I wandered slowly out to the stairs. I stopped at the top of the stairs overlooking that main area I mentioned before and to watch all the women walk down the stairs opposite me and through that main area. Hundreds streaming through - with their notes, with new ideas, with new books and tapes and new perspectives.

I then remembered that some years ago I was at Binyanei HaUma for the same gathering, and found myself in the basement of the building (looking for the bathroom). While in the basement I found that they had sectioned off in a way that it was accessable some Roman ruins that they had found. That's how they do things here in Israel since if you dig down, everything is from ancient times.

It seems that the 10th Roman Legion had camped where the hall is today. If I remember the plaque correctly, the 10th Roman Legion was the same group that actually destroyed the Temple. Crazy. The same place where the actual Romans camped that destroyed our Temple is where thousands of Jewish women learn Torah, the very same Torah the Romans tried to destroy three thousand years ago. Where are those Romans? Do they exist? No. But we do. We still do not have our Temple, but we still have Torah, there are still Jews in the world, and there is even a political entity that Jews claim as an independent state (no matter your opinion on the matter). The Romans are long gone, and what have they left us? Buildings made of rock. The Torah is eternal and as long as we Jews are connected to the Torah - we are eternal as well.

What an amazing night. On my way out I stopped at one of the tables that had books on it. It was a two volume set of mussar books based on the Chofetz Chaim's book. I asked how much it was - she said it was free. There was a man who had a sick daughter who sponsored the book in order that it should be learned in her merit that she should be healed quickly and completely, please G-d this should happen. Where in the world do we see such a concept? It's so connected with spirituality it's mind blowing to see someone who has that reality in the front of their mind. Learn Torah so my daughter will be healed?! Wow. Mi K'amcha Yisroel?!

We were reminded that it was because of the women that we were redeemed out of Egypt, and it will be because of the women today that Moshiach will come and redeem us again the final time. Whether male or female, G-d created the world for us. Rabbi Tauber explained that we must use our talents in the service of G-d. They were given to us for a reason, to bring us closer to G-d. The world was created for us, we need to understand how important we are, and understand the amount of power for good was given to us as G-d's creations. We not only have rights, but responsibilities as well. We are responsible for Torah and Mitzvot. We are creations trying to do what our Creator wants from us as best we can.

It is so overwhelming. But we need to remember that Judaism is not an all or nothing religion. We ask questions, we move ahead, and sometimes we move backward. Something I've learned over the last three months of physical therapy - take it slowly, step by step, one foot in front of the other. Sometimes you need crutches, sometimes you can do it yourself. And amazingly somehow, you've gotton to where you were trying to go. The key is however, we need goals. It's impossible to go somewhere when you don't know where you're going. I'm talking to myself here. I'm typing and realizing that I'm really just talking to myself. Thank you G-d for allowing me a clue of what I'm supposed to be doing. I hate to go to bed now, I'm afraid it'll all slip out while I'm sleeping.

Good night all.